It will start within you

Are you happy? Do you feel contented? Do you have ambition?

We are always looking for happiness. This simple word keeps us hoping that at the end of it all, we will get what we have deserve, and that is to be happy.

But, isn't kind of odd? We are trying our best, do everything to be happy, but it seems like this 9 letter word is always hard to tame. It feels like we have a long way to go before we even tell to ourselves that, yes! I am happy.

We cannot have it all! That is one thing I have learned in this world. You can get whatever you like, but there is always something about it that you have to endure, which you have to force yourself to accept. There is something about this thing that you have wished or worked for, that makes you feel different. So, you tend to look for something else, and by looking for something else, you empty your cup again.

How do you define contentment? Is it the feeling of being loyal to something or someone? Or is it setting your mind not to look for anything, since you already have it with you, though it is not all you wanted, but it is better than nothing.

Have you ever experience buying something that you really like, and when you bought it, you saw something better. Then you felt cheated! And the blaming game started to stick inside your head.

Everyone has their own dreams. Big houses, fab cars, amazing life, and so on, while others are dreaming of just eating 3 square meal in a day. How do you define dreams? According to psychology, dreams are like fuel to people. It drives the person to do the impossible, especially in a very difficult situation. But the question is, after getting your dreams. what comes next? Are you going to create a new dream? I mean, you already have it. Does it mean that you are not contented? Does it imply that you are not happy?

What I know of, happiness is not something you can touch, or brought about by any material stuff. It does not matter if you have this or you got nothing. Happiness is something that you can feel first within you. You have to be contented about yourself. You have to feel whole about yourself. Happiness never dictated by any stimulus outside, because it always comes inside and out.

It is alright to ask for more after getting something that you really like, because just like the 3 square meal in a day, tomorrow you have to eat again. Ambitious mind will always ask for something more, it will never stop even you have reached your goals, or achieved the things that you have worked for. Once you get your dreams, you have to create a new one and then maybe, leveling up by creating one for others. 

At the end of the day, the best feeling is about sharing your achievement to others.

the two sides of the coin

It's been a long time since I wrote something here in my blog. This is one of my bad side, starting something and seldom finishing it. This is what they call in filipino term as "ningas kugon" which makes me hate myself once I realized that its putting me into a situation where I regret not finishing it.(I hope this does not count) Actually, I really do not know what I am going to write right now, and a bit confused on what to share to everyone (I do not know if someone is visiting my page or reading this). Anyway, if I am lucky and someone is reading this, I just want to share to you that we all have our good and bad side.

Growing up is very difficult, especially if you are trying to find yourself on your own. There are a lot of questions that you want to be answered, but no one is available to give you guidance. Then, you tend to observe things around you, and tried to copy what everyone else's is doing. Not realizing that instead of getting something, you are losing yourself.

By doing this, I thought I am a kind person. I always put in mind that, the reason why I do not get mad to people it is because I am kind. No! I am not! I really want to shout at people who are cruel to me. I thought that I am generous. No I am not! I hate it when other people touch my stuff or ask me to lend it to them. I thought I am friendly. No I am not. I choose my friends, and if I do not like you, I will never talk to you. This is what I thought. All along, I thought that I know myself, but there is this one time when you are alone, you will ask yourself, who am I?

 The best years of my life is probably my teenage years. Why? This is the time where I do not need to seek other's opinion when doing something or telling something to someone. Getting mature sometimes make you sensitive to everything and everyone. You realized that you are merely accountable to everything that you say and do. This is how we deal life as we grow up. Not cool, yes, but this is how it is. Accept it and learn or you will be lost forever.

Although right now, it is like I am back from scratch when it comes in knowing myself. I will still start from something, because of all the bad side that I have, I know deep within me that I am capable of loving those people around me. I am capable of loving those who appreciates me and valued me as a person.

Life is short, so let us make it worthy in finding what we really are, and what are the things that we are can do to improve ourselves. Happy Sunday!!

Touch Me Not!!

I just want to share something. Something that every body is missing. Sometimes, we think that we are doing the right thing by helping the others to get up. But in the end, we are wrong, because instead of pulling them from the mud, we are actually pushing ourselves into it. I have live my life trying to help the people around me. I got so attached to them, and I feel like I have the obligation and responsibility to help them with their problems. No wonder, I end up hurting myself whenever they are tricking me and left me behind.

If I am going to trace this trust issue I have, I blame it to my parents. Why? Because I do not belong to a happy and complete family. On the other hand, do I really need to blame it to them? Well, they probably do not know how to handle kids, since they are too young to raise a family. The point here is, if you have a complete and happy family, there is a higher tendency that you will be able to develop sense of trust and sense of doubt to all people you will encounter at the same time. You will not be gullible nor too suspicious. You can create this balance in your mind to know what to believe or what to doubt.

I know that this is difficult, but like I said, if you were raised by a complete and happy family, there will be a higher tendency that you will develop this skills.

But in case that you are not, just like in my case, we all have to learn that through our own life's experiences. Like they said, experience is the best teacher. It surely is, but sometimes it is hard to train ourselves not to trust and not to doubt. Lessons will give us something, but if we are willing to accept it. You know how human act, stubborn, hard headed and arrogant. Stubborn enough to accept the wrongs and correct it. Hard headed in terms of choosing the right path and ignoring the wrong one. And, arrogant enough to accept that this particular person that we hated so much is actually correct when telling us that we are wrong.

I just want to share this, because I have been there in that position. I trust, too much. I trust to every people who smiles at me and tell them that they are my friend. People of my age, younger than me and older than me. I trust them and tell them that I am their friend too. I defended them, I give them what they asked me to do and I respected them. Only to get betrayed, cheated and manipulated on. If I am going to say those experience, I might be tackling many names. Yes, that is how this Trust issue banged me over and over again, because I never learned it from the first time. When they left me, I feel angry and full of negative feelings towards them. When they left me hanging in the middle of nowhere, I felt very disappointed, and if there is beyond with this word, that is how I felt. But, then God made me realize that this is not about them. This is not always about those people who treated me wrong. This is about me, and how I let those people treated me. Those lessons will keep on lecturing you if you did not get the sense out of it. Then, I talked to myself, ask for forgiveness for what I did. Then I have found peace..

This message is about to those people who feels like they are repeatedly wronged by people around them.. Wake up, this is not about them but this is always about you. It is always about you.

Do not let anyone treated you like you are nothing. Let them know how you want them to treat you. You do not have to be gullible or suspicious to people, all you need to do is trust yourself. Trust comes with love and respect. Do this, and you will naturally eliminate those negative people around you, because they will treat you right.

Big Word

Today I will say Thank you, for all the things that Life has taught me

Today, I will cherish all the good deeds I have received

I might be wrong with my beliefs, thoughts and actions

But I never regret it, as I have found peace and devotion

Thank you for the love you gave me

Thank you for all the sacrifices for me

The things that you have done just to protect me

The words untold, because you know it will hurt me

I maybe impulsive and hard headed

Putting my life in the middle of nowhere

Breaking all my promises and crashing everything into pieces

To all the people I have fail and curse

Today I will say my sorry

For tomorrow is not a promise for me

For I got only today, so I just want to say

I will never forget the memory that I had

The Word that you need to digest

I have been looking for the right articles to write and to share to you these past few days to help you with your life somehow. We all have struggles and problem that we need to face alone in our life that sometimes we tend to feel devastated whenever those decisions that we had never actually solve the problem and worst it add up to the problem. I am no expert in solving problems because sometimes I do create them and put myself in a place where I appear to be hard headed girl and pathetic because my decisions are no good.

I just want to share that in life when you had a bad decisions that it seems like it made everything worst it does not mean that you are a bad person. Mistakes are lesson and it will lead you to the person that you supposed to be. We just do not see it right now because that is how it works. You have to experience first the effect of the decisions that you made so that you will know the gravity of that wrong decisions which afterwards will lead you to the clearer path. The only thing that we must possess whenever we are in bad times is to be Patient.

Well personally every time I say or heard the word patient, my chest becomes heavy and I started to breathe deeply. Just because I am impatient and I bet there are people out there who are impatient too. Well being patient is actually a learning process and it is very looooooong process before you will achieve that. I actually want to be patient because as they say when a person is patient, great gifts will be given to him at the end. So I searched and looked for the definition of the word patient before doing the process. And I found out that the word patient literally means waiting with a positive attitude.

I want to scream because the word waiting is very frustrating already. I mean how can a person wait for a period of time into something that he does not know if that thing or person that he is waiting will arrive??? and with positive attitude??? like come on!!! (this is my initial reaction which literally impatient)

But then when I think of my past I realized that I should have wait for the right time to fall in love, I should have wait longer before deciding, I should have listen to what my mind says before letting my emotions dominate my body. I should have exercise to be patient so that everything will fall on its place.. I know that it is too late to fix the damage that I have done but it will never be too late to be patient.

Waiting while smiling is very hard at the beginning but I learn a effective trick to be patient and that is diverting your attention to something and make your time more productive while waiting then whatever or whoever you are waiting it will come to you with a surprise. Then all the waiting time is actually worth it..

If you had mistakes in the past just let it go and start another chapter of your life with some great attitude like being patient..Have a nice day everyone....

Acknowledging your ANGER

To continue my articles about "anger", I want to share some points why do you need to take out all your hatred and grudge from your heart and soul. But before that, I want you to know the best activity that makes you relax by just doing it. Why I asked this? It is because as a person or as an emotional human being, you have to know how you are going to relieve yourself from something that you can't spill out. If something is bothering you or making you stop to say something to a person because it is just too much inside then you need to have an OUTLET.

I personally call it "personal space" where you can just be with yourself, say anything that you want, think anything and just release all the stress and be relieved. Yes, anger and stress is related and directly connected because when a person has these strong negative emotions that are hidden inside and if kept for a long time, it will subconsciously affect that person.

To be more specific, when you are angry at someone and you just can’t say it because maybe you are not in the right position to say it to him, you do not want to get involved into some arguments, you think it will be useless to say it because it will not change anything or you just don’t have the strength to say it, these emotions will add up inside you until it became a hole that will consume you.

Negative emotions such as anger, frustration, disappointments and other strong feelings can cause stress to a person. But did you know that stress can actually help you to focus? Stress is actually a defense mechanism of the body once a person is in danger. It will help the person to focus on a certain task because of the adrenaline and cortisol hormones which are the major stress hormones to be released once a person is in danger or meeting a deadline. But when these stress hormones will stay in the circulation and if this will not stop because you are consistently having some danger (emotional, physical, spiritual and mental) then this can cause another danger to a person.

If you are angry at someone, you have to say it to that person so that your body will be able to relax afterwards. Whenever a person is angry or have a negative feelings into something, like I said the stress hormones will be activated and focus on that negative emotions. The heart rate of the person will be faster, breathing will be faster, digestion will slowdown, muscles are contracted and the person is alert and active. So imagine this energy that will pile up inside of you when you will not able to say your anger to a person. When this will continue, your heart will be tired pumping, your lungs will slowdown, you will not feel hungry or do not have any appetite, there will be a muscle pains everywhere because of the contracted muscles and you will feel weak and very tired always.

Everything will be falling apart on you so you before anything else, say what you need to say to that person. If you love yourself you should tell to that person that you are angry at him and let him know that what he did is wrong. When you want decide to spill the bean it does not mean that you are picking a fight or disrespecting that person. It only means that you love yourself that you would not want to be stressed out. If you can’t tell it using your voice then you can say it by letter or a text message.

I know that it will be hard at first but once you burst out (without hostility) your stress hormones will be minimized and you will feel relieved. If you think that your decision to speak up did not work out then you can just do your “outlet” and let all your frustration, anger, disappointment take it away. After that Breathe in, breathe out then go to sleep.

 

How to Response to Anger

Anger is a very strong feelings in which a person will not able to balance the right and wrong because he is focus on his emotions and wanted to just spill it out to someone. Like I said on my other article about anger, it is best to count first before speaking once you are angry because this will activate the domination of the cerebral cortex (the center of rationalization) so that every word that will come out from you is rightful.

Now what if you are the one that has been shouted at by a very angry person? What will be your initial reaction? Like they say, you will never stop the fire with another fire. But what will you do when a person suddenly shout at you? Here are the simple things that you can do whenever a person will be angry at you regardless you did something wrong or not.

Most of the time when a person is angry his emotion has been disrespected and his ego have been violated. The first thing you need to do is to listen to what he wants to say no matter how he said it. I know that it is hard to everyone to listen when the tone of voice of the person talking is not pleasant to the ears. When a person is sarcastic, cursing and shouting at you it will hurt your ego as well but if you are willing to clear the air and fix the problem you have to close your mouth and listen to that person.

I know it will be hard to do but you can make yourself relax while listening when you sit down and rest your back. You have to do the breathing exercise (inhale deeply and exhale through your mouth). You can look straight to that person so that he will feel that you are respecting his feelings. An angry person will comes back to his rational self after a few minutes of talking so this is the time that you can talk and tell your side of story.

I am emphasizing this because sometimes relationships tear down due to mishandling of situation like this. You have to remember if you really want your relationship to continue, you have to try your best to understand each other and not just let your emotion ruin everything in just a snap. Sit down, relax, breath and then talk.