the two sides of the coin

It's been a long time since I wrote something here in my blog. This is one of my bad side, starting something and seldom finishing it. This is what they call in filipino term as "ningas kugon" which makes me hate myself once I realized that its putting me into a situation where I regret not finishing it.(I hope this does not count) Actually, I really do not know what I am going to write right now, and a bit confused on what to share to everyone (I do not know if someone is visiting my page or reading this). Anyway, if I am lucky and someone is reading this, I just want to share to you that we all have our good and bad side.

Growing up is very difficult, especially if you are trying to find yourself on your own. There are a lot of questions that you want to be answered, but no one is available to give you guidance. Then, you tend to observe things around you, and tried to copy what everyone else's is doing. Not realizing that instead of getting something, you are losing yourself.

By doing this, I thought I am a kind person. I always put in mind that, the reason why I do not get mad to people it is because I am kind. No! I am not! I really want to shout at people who are cruel to me. I thought that I am generous. No I am not! I hate it when other people touch my stuff or ask me to lend it to them. I thought I am friendly. No I am not. I choose my friends, and if I do not like you, I will never talk to you. This is what I thought. All along, I thought that I know myself, but there is this one time when you are alone, you will ask yourself, who am I?

 The best years of my life is probably my teenage years. Why? This is the time where I do not need to seek other's opinion when doing something or telling something to someone. Getting mature sometimes make you sensitive to everything and everyone. You realized that you are merely accountable to everything that you say and do. This is how we deal life as we grow up. Not cool, yes, but this is how it is. Accept it and learn or you will be lost forever.

Although right now, it is like I am back from scratch when it comes in knowing myself. I will still start from something, because of all the bad side that I have, I know deep within me that I am capable of loving those people around me. I am capable of loving those who appreciates me and valued me as a person.

Life is short, so let us make it worthy in finding what we really are, and what are the things that we are can do to improve ourselves. Happy Sunday!!